Saturday, December 1, 2012

Just ridiculous.

I'm up to 286.6 pounds as of this morning.  2012 has been an absolute waste of my life, as far as my weight loss is concerned, since I've gained roughly 70 pounds in the last eleven months.  I remember back to the beginning of 2012 - I had just purchased a gym membership and was using it.  I was eating healthy.  I was accountable.  At this point, my weight is only 51.6 pounds less than when I started on my LapBand journey back in December 2011.  I'm happy I've kept 50 pounds off, don't get me wrong, but I know that 2012 has been entirely my fault in the bad choices I've made every day.

Yes, my LapBand is broken.  Funny, though, that I only regurgitate these days when I've eaten too much (i.e. last night's 4 pieces of pizza).  Hell, I'm glad my body got mad at me for eating 4 pieces of pizza.

This stops.  Now.  I know...I've said that a million times to myself, especially throughout 2012 (my blog reflects that!).  But there's no sense in this.  I wanted to be healthy and fit as I entered my 30's...and now I'm 32 and haven't made nearly as much progress as I could/should have.

What is it that clicks for people?  I've got many friends and "liked" pages on my Facebook that tells me, daily, of others' motivation and successes - it's not that I'm not reminded every day of what others are accomplishing.  Why don't I care?

Whatever.  It's time for my weekly trip to the grocery store - I foresee very different items in my cart this morning.  This stops.  Now.