Saturday, October 22, 2011

Accountability.

My last blog post referenced the fact that I was supposed to stay on liquids for two weeks, pending a follow-up barium swallow on the 24th, to ensure that my above-band pouch shrunk back to normal size and all inflammation ceased after my bout with dehydration at the beginning of this month.  Unfortunately, I've spent much of the latter half of 2011 on liquids and I just couldn't do it.  As a result, I've PB'ed three times in the last week.  Obviously my above-band pouch isn't healing and the irritation is still very present.  I noticed how serious it was, honestly, when I PB'ed after eating a minimal amount of food on Thursday.  Enough was enough!

I moved my Oct. 24th barium swallow to Oct. 31st (because, obviously, my doctor isn't going to see what he wants to see on Monday...and I'm not wasting $75 on a "facility fee" at the surgery center just for the doc to tell me to continue on liquids) and know that a strict liquid diet is absolutely necessary.  I don't like it one bit, and I'm so sick of blended soups, but I know that the alternative isn't allowing me to get any better.  Beyond that, I fall into this apathetic mood when I'm on liquids (or, maybe it's specific this time being on liquids again) that my calories don't matter...in reality, liquid calories can rack up just as big if I don't watch what I'm drinking.  With that being said, the bodybugg's finally back on my arm today and I'm tracking my "food" again.  I'd really like to get out of the 220's permanently - it's been a roller coaster between 217 and 237 for months, but I've spent the majority of my time in the 220's.  If this whole "onederland by 2012" thing is going to happen, it's on me!

I need to stop being a pathetic crybaby and literally get a straw and suck it up!

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