Sunday, May 15, 2011

LapBand fails. This is apparently up to me.

So, no, it's not necessarily that the LapBand has failed me...my doctor has.  If you go back and read the last few posts, you'll know that my doctor is not interested in me or my well being, and the search for a new doctor has been put on the back burner in lieu of the millions of irons I have in the fire related to my career at the moment.  So what to do?  Take charge of my life again.  Who cares if my band is working with me or not?  Bottom line is that I can get certain foods down and I know the essentials of weight loss - healthy eating choices, small portions and exercise.  I'm doing this my way, now.  Who needs follow up care?  I can take Prevacid for the acid reflux if it gets unbearable (although I've found tricks to deal with it - smoothies, frappuccinos, etc.), and I have just learned that there are foods I just can't tolerate anymore (bread, tomatoes, lettuce, etc.).  Until I can get with a doctor who would actually like to work with me and figure out whether or not my band has slipped, moved...whatever...I'm doing this my way.

I put my bodybugg on again today...man, it's been awhile since I've worn it.  I counted calories, measured food and entered them into my bodybugg fitness program today.  Hell, I even went to the gym here at my apartment complex and did some wogging (walking/jogging) tonight:

Photobucket

It's been MONTHS, literally, since I've paid attention to what I've put into and what I've gotten out of my body.  Why?  I convinced myself that there was nothing I could do until the doctor fixed me.  I lived on what foods I could tolerate - ignoring calorie counts - because I lost my judgment and personal accountability.  For some reason, nachos go down really well for me (I order them without tomatoes)...but how many freakin' calories is a plate of steak nachos from my fave Mexican joint?!  I've been stopping at my fave coffee place every morning - Java Detour - and ordering up the 32 oz. Black & White blended, nonfat with an extra shot...I can't find nutrition information for it, but I can't imagine it's low in calories.  I haven't seen a treadmill in months, because "I'm too tired."

I spent 29 years of my life being "too tired" and indulging in all of the crap my body wanted.  It's time to stop.  No more blaming the doctor or a seemingly broken LapBand.  No more.  I weighed in this morning at 232.4 pounds, which is a measly loss of about 18 pounds since Christmas.  Are you kidding me? My original goals had me hitting 200 by the end of May and my goal of 169 by my birthday (August 28th).  I've revised that tonight.

Goal #1: 200 pounds by August 28, 2011
Goal #2: 169 pounds by December 31, 2011

Hitting my goal weight by the end of 2011 can happen.  I just have to pull my head out of my ass and make it happen.  I need to count/log calories, because the alternative doesn't hold me accountable.  I need to get to the treadmill at least three times a week, because the alternative is doing nothing for me.  Yes, the LapBand is still restricting me on portion sizes and some foods (although I find it funny I can eat steak nachos, but not a salad)...I'll take that and make this thing work for me.

6 comments:

  1. I am so sorry that you are struggling but glad you are doing what works for you. I hope things get better soon. *M*

    ReplyDelete
  2. Great post! When you are feeling defeated, come back and read this. It has inspired me this morning. I have been full of excuses and needed reality check. THANKS!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm glad you are taking control back and making yourself worth this journey. My best friend with the lap band always says the lap band is just a tool - it's still incredibly hard work....xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hi there Joia - (love your name!)
    I'm new here, and I just read a few posts. I'm worried about your health. I think you need to make finding a new dr. a priority today. You need to get this fixed or unfilled or SOMETHING. You could end up with permanent damage. Your health needs to be #1. Please. I think you are, understandably, incredibly frustrated with the situation (of course!) but it sounds like you have resolved to let a bad situation continue. Please don't. Just think about it. And I say this with love. I don't like to leave know-it-all comments, and I hope this doesn't come across as one. It's just that I'm reading between the lines and while this post is great for motivation and it's really SO TRUE, I want you to get to the root of this problem with your band. You need to be able to eat more than nachos and coffee.
    If you'd like to talk...e-mail me.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I agree with Jen. YOU are the priority and if you don't take the time to consider your own health first, you are risking it all. Your health and well being was the reason for getting the band in the first place, so it should be your priority. Seriously!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Just curious as to why you choose lapband surgery instead of regular old fashioned diet and exercise.

    I haven't read your whole blog I've only read a few posts so it might explain that better the further I read.

    I've found alot of 'lapband diet blogs' and I was just curious as to why you felt this avenue suited you best.

    I'd love an email back from you.

    formerskinnygirls@gmail.com
    formerskinnygirls.blogspot.com
    lachelewickens.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete