Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Just because you CAN eat...

...doesn't mean you should.  After dealing with more PB'ing and acid reflux last week (surprisingly, Thanksgiving was the only day I got food down successfully last week), I headed in to my doctor on Saturday morning and got 2cc removed from my band...WOW.  I am starving right now, and I have been since Saturday!  What a difference that unfill made - literally, I can eat breakfast, lunch and dinner...any food I want (I've been having bread, too!).  Of course, I've seen some gain since Saturday...but I'm determined not to let it get any higher.  I head back in this Saturday to get adjusted again - you can BET I'm getting some saline put back in!  As much as I've complained, and had problems with, being too tight...this being too loose thing is ridiculous!  I haven't been able to eat this much in months, and these hunger pangs are insane!  WOW.  Seriously.  I haven't felt hunger like this...gosh...in...months?!

I gave up on the doctor I'd been seeing.  Luckily, I had surgery through a practice with more than one doctor, and the doc I saw this past Saturday was pretty awesome.  He listened to what I had to say, had me drink water while he adjusted my band level, and offered to have me come back in a week if we took too much out.  The problem with being so stuck and reflux-y is that it took a whole 2cc being removed for me to feel any kind of chest/esophageal relief while drinking that damn water.  Being able to eat again, in larger than LapBand rules quantity, is like a temporary gift from God (for a fat chick).

Funny, though, that even though I've been eating some foods I normally wouldn't as a Bandster, I'm still motivated not to go buy the fast food, sit here and eat like a pig, etc. because I do NOT want to gain a bajillion pounds this week.  I worked hard for every damn pound I've lost - I do NOT want to have to do them over again!

Self-control?  Lessons learned?  Got my head aligned with the overall life change I committed to when I got the surgery?  Any way you spin it, the "incredibleness" of being able to eat doesn't feel so incredible to me.  I kinda miss restriction!

Friday, November 26, 2010

My First Thanksgiving...with a LapBand!

After being stressed out cleaning my house, getting through the closing days of school as a teacher before a four-day weekend (students are at 10% attention span, at best) and dealing with a potential missed flight from my boyfriend on the East Coast, all turned out well!  I was nervous about sitting down to Thanksgiving dinner at my dad's house yesterday, surrounded by 11 other people (including my boyfriend -yay!), because I had PB'd everything I'd eaten the two days prior...and I have no idea why!

Not only did I get the broccoli, cauliflower and pretzel sticks down that I moderately snacked on throughout the day, I also got down a LapBand-sized Thanksgiving dinner!  Yup, yup - a few ounces of turkey, a small scoop of mashed potatoes, two small pieces of sweet potatoes...and lots of gravy!  I even managed a small slice of both pumpkin pie and pumpkin mousse pie!  I was SO STOKED!  Not one PB the whole day (a blessing, really, since the skin around both eyes were so blood shot and ridden with popped veins from PB'ing the day before on dinner that my boyfriend thought I'd been beaten when I showed up at LAX to pick him up Wednesday night)!!

It was good to see family, great to spend time with my boyfriend...and the good times keep rolling!  Boyfriend and I drove the 4 hours home last night from my dad's house in San Diego...worked off some calories once we got to my house (:::giggles:::), and I get to keep him until Monday morning!

Step-mom sent us home with leftovers (I left the Cheery Apple Cherry Pie I baked for dessert at their house - I know I don't need that in my house!), and I had bought a rump roast to make crock pot drip beef while my boyfriend's here...it's good eatin' at my house!  I hope the scale is still nice to me on Sunday's challenge weigh-in...I'll continue to work off this food with "long distance boyfriend in town" activities!

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Ugh...:::reminds self she's thankful:::...ugh.

I haven't had the greatest last week.  I developed a cough/runny nose thing that kept me up at nights (woke up coughing at least every hour last night) and no amount of water, drugs, chicken noodle soup or sleep has been able to cure it.  Added to that, my oldest cat nailed me last Monday - scared, she latched on with her claw to the skin between my thumbnail and...well, skin...and left a deep, gaping wound.  I've been treating it for over a week now and it's *still* sensitive - hit it twice tonight while trying to finish some housecleaning before Nick comes for the holiday...once so bad that I broke out in tears.

I probably wouldn't have cried if today hadn't have happened.  After the enormous lack of sleep I endured last night, I woke up not feeling well, but knowing that today was the "debate test" in both of my freshman classes, calling in sick to work wasn't an option.  I've been teaching them Parliamentary Procedure and today was the hour long test of their skills on various motions and debate, led and scored by me.  I grabbed a little food on the way to work and barely touched it...but near the end of 1st period, this is what transpired in my classroom:

Student A: Madam President.
Me: Student A.
Student A: I move to refer this motion to a committee.
Me: (while Student A is still standing) Hold that thought...actually?  Student C take over.  I'll be right back.
I proceed to run out into the hallway and PB into the nearest patch of dirt.
Me: (Back in the classroom).  Is there a second to the referral?
Student B: (awed/confused at what just happened) Um, second?


Yes.  As I said, I barely touched my food...and up it came.  As a result, I've had mild reflux throughout the day and just generally haven't felt well.  By the time 3rd period came around, I had had enough of today - between not sleeping, still coughing, tightness in my chest after the PB, etc...I called for a sub to take my last class (4th period) and I came home and slept.  Ugh.

I'm still not feeling better, but I leave tomorrow night to pick up Nick at the airport and we won't be back at my house until Thursday night...so I had to get the bathroom clean, I'm still working on laundry, I've still got to clean my room and wash my sheets, gotta bake a "Cheery Apple Cherry Pie" tomorrow before hitting the road...oh, and teach 4 more classes tomorrow, one of which is getting a reward ice cream party (which I have to shop for before school tomorrow) because they brought in the most canned food items for the recent drive we had for the local homeless shelter.

Seriously?  I just need the next 24 hours to pass, my thumb to heal and my cold thing to go away.  Hard to be thankful on Thanksgiving when you're downright miserable.

To kickstart it?  I think I shall go to Java Detour, my favoritest coffee place on earth, right now and get a loverly blended Black & White Mocha.  After all, I could use the pick me up AND the calories today.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Another Sunday...

Thanks GOODNESS it's Thanksgiving this week (ya don't hear many LapBanders saying that, do ya?)!  Not only is it a short work week (two full school days - only one with any meetings after it - and a minimum day), but NICK IS COMING!  I haven't spent any real, alone time with my boyfriend since July...ugh.  I'm picking him up on Wednesday night in Los Angeles, we'll spend the night there, then head to my dad's house in San Diego for turkey day...then drive home to my house in Bakersfield on Thursday night so we can just be lazy and relax until he has to go home again once the weekend's over!  I asked him if he wanted to do Disneyland or anything "California-y" while he was here, but he's quite content (as am I!) with just laying around my house and being lazy.  The most exciting part of all?  We only have THREE WEEKS of school once he leaves, and then I get to hop on a plane and go spend two weeks with him - including Christmas and New Year's!  I've hated spending holidays without him, as they seem so empty when the one you love is miles away.  I'm very happy I get to spend the next three, major holidays by his side!

I'm also stoked about the weight loss I've had the last couple of weeks - 2.6 pounds in Week 1 of the challenge and 3.2 pounds this last week.  While they may not be super impressive numbers, especially when compared to some of the others in the challenge, I'm happy to say that these are the most consistent losses I've had in a long time.  I guess I need to keep my fill at 8.5cc and keep trekkin' down the Bandster road!  I haven't been perfect in my eating plan, indulging in way too many Starbucks holiday drinks and splurging on some nachos yesterday, but I'm happy with the loss!  And?  I'm SO CLOSE to 100 pounds lost - I'll definitely hit it before the end of the challenge!

Life is generally good, and I'm happy about that.  There is a light at the end of the many, proverbial tunnels of stress I endure, and I'm looking forward to finishing 2010 on a happy note...bring on 2011 and my goal weight!

P.S. I bought some Oikos Organic Greek Yogurt in two flavors, chocolate and caramel, because I've heard so many of you talk about it's high protein content.  After two bites?  I'll throw them all away.  EW!  I don't care if it's an acquired taste, if that's what you're going to say, I don't want to acquire that!

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Protein IS the key...maybe?

What a weird week it's been for weight loss!  I got down to 245 earlier this week, only to see myself back up at 250 yesterday...then today?  Back down to 247.2.  Seriously, my body's weird.

Although - I think there's a direct correlation here between PROTEIN and weight loss...really.  I know it's not a new concept, but I saw it in action (I think) this week.  Early in the week, when I first started the Holiday Challenge, I recommitted myself (for the billionth time) to doing this thing right.  I had the protein shakes, I monitored calories, etc. - and I was down to 245 by Wednesday.  Confident in the almost 5 pounds lost since Sunday, I slacked on the protein Thursday and Friday...no shake, even though I kept my overall calorie count low.  Frustrated at the 250.0 staring me in the face yesterday, I vowed to be a protein junkie for the day - despite the fact that I had 4 hours on the road with students round trip to an all day meeting.  I had a 17g protein shake for breakfast, a Venti Eggnog Latte from Starbucks after that, a 40g protein shake for lunch, and a piece of pizza and a garlic cheese  bread piece for dinner.  I finished the day with some Crystal Light and headed to bed early.  And, yeah, 247.2 this morning on the scale.  While it's an overall loss of 2.6 for the week, it's 2.8 from yesterday.  Insane...I think this "have at least 65g of protein a day" concept of LapBand rules may hold some merit.

Of course, there are a million reasons why my weight could have fluctuated this week...including the fact that I got both a flu shot and whooping cough shot on Thursday.  But, eh, c'est la vie.  Bring on week two of the challenge, and the 9 more pounds I have to lose before I hit my hundred pound mark!

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Vlogging?

I made a "vlog" on Sunday - yeah, where I sit in front of my laptop and pour out my soul, personality and quirks to all of you via webcam.  I had the great plan of uploading the video to YouTube (since the blogger platform kept getting errors), and then sharing it here so that you could witness who I was.  I had a plan of doing this every Sunday - both for my own enjoyment as I watched myself morph over weight loss time and for your enjoyment as you all got to see what a dork I really am.

Apparently?  A 10 minute video doesn't want to upload.  I've tried a few times on YouTube - even tried to begin the upload last night before I went to bed, only to find that it was 25% done this morning.  Now, yes, I could continue to let the video upload, but...who really wants to spend over 24 hours each week uploading a 10 minute vlog?  Um, not me.  Any suggestions on a program to record in that doesn't create such a gigabyte whore of a video?  This one clocked in at 6.21GB.  Goodness gracious!

For now, you'll have to deal with my typalicious update...as you always have.  My endoscopy on Saturday went fine - the doctor was great and told me I had no ulcers, scarring, etc...he said, "Your band does look a little tight, though."  HA!  Isn't that what I said originally to my doctor?  Methinks he's going to get an ego bruising when he sees the results of the endoscopy.  They had to reschedule my barium swallow - originally on the 11th, it's now on the 18th.  I had planned to see my doctor again on the 17th to follow up and evaluate all of the test results, but that won't be possible now since the barium swallow won't have been completed by then.  Oh wellies!  Now that I've started to take some relaxation time for me (oh, and work has slowed down tremendously as we gear up for Thanksgiving!), my band has loosened up to the point where I can eat food again...I'm actually getting hungry throughout the day, but I've really started to pay attention to the following:

1. The band is just a TOOL - you're not hungry, Joia...get a straw, suck it up and realize it's your head talking to you.
2. Why haven't I been losing weight?  I was lying to myself saying that I "barely got calories in" everyday - I was enjoying 1-2 frappuccinos a day, not always asking for low-fat (as if those calories help either), and wondering how I would drink those, eat some food and not lose weight.  I've been tracking calories, kinda, since Sunday and realize that I've been consuming too much.

Since joining the "Holiday Challenge," I'm on a mission...seriously, I hate to lose.  While my numbers may not win me one of the top three prizes, I know that maintenance/weight gain is NOT an option - why was it an option before?  Why didn't I pull my head out of my ass and take a realistic look at what I was doing?  Duh.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Yay for the Holiday Challenge!

I've joined up with many other LapBand bloggers in the 2010 Holiday Challenge! We weigh in each Sunday (starting today) and will continue until December 19th - the top three contestants with the highest percentage of weight loss win cash prizes! I love Biggest Loser and have been in a weight loss/LapBand attitude slump lately, so I'm hoping this is the motivation I need to help me refocus on what's important in my life! Week 1?

Week 1


That's right - I'm in the 240's baby!!! WOOOOT! My goal is to hit my 100 pound loss by Christmas :)

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Reflux, endoscopy & more, OH MY!

Wow...haven't posted in awhile, but I have also never been so busy in my life. I'm so busy I can't even find a "good" day to take a sick day just to catch up on my TV and relaxation! Ugh.

At any rate, band news? Horrible. I got a 0.5cc unfill a week after going back to 9.0cc, then saw my normal doctor a week later (the unfill guy was a new doc). My doc insists that I go to Los Angeles (111 miles each way) TWICE - once for an endoscopy and once for a fluoroscopy (they won't do them on the same day, bastards). He wants to make sure everything is still legit with my band since I've been playing the "fill, reflux, unfill" game since May. Ugh. Fine, I'll do what he says - but I'm back down to 8.5cc now, where I normally have no issues and can eat just fine, but I'm constantly tight, eat very little portions of mushy food and tend to have reflux in the mornings (like now). WTH?! I'm going to chalk it up to stress, because that's really all my life has been since heading back to school in August - if it's not one thing, it's another. Just further proves to me that I need to get out of the three full time jobs I have (teaching, FFA Advisor and union leader) and find ONE that I can focus on - I need me back.

At any rate, I'm off to LA today for my endoscopy - no eating/drinking since 9am this morning, which isn't an issue because I'm too tight and reflux-y to eat anyway. I was told I should expect to be at the hospital for 3-4 hours (for a 15 minute procedure?!?), but have plans to meet up with an old friend afterwards...pending how I'm feeling. I have to head back to LA on Thursday (we have a day off for Veteran's Day...ideally, I wanted THAT day COMPLETELY off...no such luck) for the fluoroscopy.

Me? I'm just tired. Tired of missing my boyfriend (lives 2,400 miles away), tired of reflux, tired of not being able to eat, tired of being so busy...it's not even the hours I spend working that bothers me, it's the keeping track of a million things between my classroom, students, FFA program and union...focusing on one sure would be nice for a change! We'll see how that goes...

/bitchy rant.