Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Ugh.

Despite all of the great times I've been having with my boyfriend while spending time in West Virginia with him, a teeny, tiny bit of me wishes I was home for 20 minutes. I'd rush over to my LapBand doc's office and get a teeny, tiny unfill...man! Going up to 9cc at my last fill has truly kicked my ass. I PB almost daily (some days more than once), foods in general aren't kind to me, and my weight is maintaining because I'm not getting enough calories in. I finally managed to eat several meals yesterday without PBing, but they took a LONG time to get down and were accompanied by chest pains, standing up to walk, etc. This is ridiculous! I keep joking that I didn't sign up for weight loss by bulimia, and I know that this constant PBing can cause my band to slip...but there's nothing I can do about it!

I head out to New Orleans, Louisiana tomorrow for the week-long National Education Association's Representative Assembly...while there's terrific food in "NOLA," I'm sure I won't be eating much of anything if the last couple of weeks have been any indication. I feel like I'm trapped in my post-surgery time...sticking to mushies and liquids in the hope that I can ingest SOMETHING that my LapBand won't reject. At any rate, it's going to be another couple of weeks before I can get home and see a doctor to take out some of this fill (I was at 8cc prior to this last fill and only PB'd from user error - I think I need to be at 8.5cc instead of the 9cc I'm at now). In a word, though? Miserable. I'm not SO tight that I can't drink liquids, and there are days when food goes down better than others...but this is NOT how I want to be living my daily life.

I suppose I could tolerate all the chest tightness, sliming, PBing, etc. if I were losing weight...but, no. This morning was the first time in the last two weeks of being here that I've seen any weight loss, and I'm attributing it to the fact that I DID eat so much yesterday...must be that my body is starving for calories. Awesome.

Wish me luck in NOLA and with continuing to try to eat! None of the usual tricks to open my band up are helping...and water is even a touch painful to drink in the morning (just had a gulp, felt some tightness as it passed through my digestive system, and remembered to come blog about it!). Oh well. I will survive until I can get back home to a doctor!

Monday, June 14, 2010

All's well...and vacation starts tomorrow!

It was an interesting weekend of eating in Los Angeles following the port ripping horror of Thursday night. Friday? I was able to get food down no problem - I started to worry that I had torn the tube from the port to the band loose and had lost all restriction. I didn't overeat, but the fact that I got down the food I did without problem scared me. But, my band was ready for revenge on Saturday...

Breakfast - Ordered a berry parfait - ate a little over half of it and was done.
Lunch - Got a plate of food from the Mexican buffet we had - a couple bites of refried beans (freakin' refried beans!), I was done.
Dinner - Went to a celebratory steak dinner with my colleagues...the entire meal consisted of a few bites of bread with butter, a couple spoonfuls of soup and a sliver of steak...I was in and out of the bathroom six times PBing it all up...ugh! I did get to smell the apple pie leftovers my friends had. From what they tell me, the meal was super delicious and worth every penny we paid. My leftovers went with a friend - no way was I going to get any of that filet mignon down, obviously.

Sunday wasn't much better. I had a tiny bit of oatmeal for breakfast with no problem, but lunch wasn't going to go down...ended up using my lunch break to walk off the chest pain and didn't have to PB at all (yay!). I ended the day STARVING and stopped for a milkshake on my drive home. At that point? I just needed some freakin' calories in my body. I got home and had a bowl of Tuscany Vegetable Soup (yum!) with no problems...ugh.

Bottom line? I don't want to be at the point where I'm eating and having chest pains, PBing, etc. All of that is bad for me and certainly bad for Ms. LB, my band. If the satellite office here in town for my doctor was open today, I'd consider getting a slight unfill. But, it's not, so I'll have to pack and get movin' on with my three week vacation and pay attention to my body.

On the positive side? Screwdrivers go down just fine...bring on vacation!

Friday, June 11, 2010

Ripped my port...OUCH!

So that was a fun experience last night...I'm in Los Angeles at the Westin Bonaventure hotel right now for the last CTA State Council session of the year. Eating is still tough (I had a half a yogurt yesterday morning before getting too full and putting it back in the fridge), but I'm really learning the art of taking small bites, chewing my food and choosing healthier foods for myself. Having said that, I got to the point last night where I was STARVING and ordered a quesadilla (cheese only) from the room service menu last night...first few bites were tough, ended up PBing a couple times (I know, not good), but then was able to get the majority of the rest down. Weird how PBing opens up the band, eh? Anyone else have that realization?

Side Note: NO, this is not a good way to eat and NO, I don't normally do this.

The weirdest part of last night, though, is that after the hour of eating to get some food in my system, I laid on my stomach on my plush king sized hotel bed and chatted with my boyfriend on the phone. At one point, I pulled myself up out of bed...felt a rip...followed my excruciating burning/tingling in my port area...OWWW! My boyfriend got to hear my pain on the phone. I finished getting up, felt the port to make sure it was still in place (it was). Over the next 15 minutes - don't know if it was my imagination or not - the port area swelled and became numb. BIZARRE. None of this outstanding in general, but especially for me since I'll be heading out of town for over three weeks on Tuesday...argh!

So I decided to sleep on it and see what happened this morning. Much to my happiness? The numb sensation is gone, the swelling is gone, I can still feel the port where it's supposed to be...there's only a little tenderness a couple of inches to the right of the port when I touch it (yeah, I know - don't touch it then!). I posted on the LapBand Talk board last night asking for anyone who's had the experience - to my surprise, it's happened to another person! I'm going to see how the rest of this weekend goes here in Los Angeles, but I think I'll be okay. I will probably give my doctor's office a call anyway to make sure everything's fine...but since I can still feel the port and the initial "shock" of it all is over...my diagnosis is that I ripped some of the scar tissue that holds the port in place. Obviously, I didn't rip ALL of it - my port would be floating around inside mah body if that were the case! I'm sure the scar tissue will reform...just...WEIRD.

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Hello 270's!

It's official - I'm in the 270's! Okay, not by much, but I'll celebrate the victory anyway! Being able to say that my weight is in this range doesn't sound NEARLY as huge as 338.2 when I started...not that I'm skinny yet, by any stretch of the imagination, but as the pounds keep tickin' off, I'm seeing the changes in my body and am STOKED about how far I've come! It'd be awesome to drop 1.2 pounds by tomorrow, because then I could say I've lost 60 pounds in 5 months (tomorrow's my surgery monthiversary!)...but either way, I'm damn proud of where I'm at. I set a lofty goal to be 250 by my 30th birthday (Aug. 28th), and I'm really not betting on that to happen. But, I'll keep chippin' away at it and hope it does!

Either way? Being at a 58.8 pound weight loss in roughly five months makes me really believe that I can easily drop 100 pounds total in a year. THAT IS INSANE! Better yet? I'm learning to ignore cravings, eat healthier, get moving a little more...wow, is Joia really becoming a HEALTHY person?! Guess there are some pigs flying around somewhere...

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Restriction? Ouch!

This week has been interesting - not only because of the insanity that comes with closing the school year and ratifying the contract my bargaining team finally settled on last Friday with our school district, but also because that 1cc of fill I got on Saturday has been kicking my ass! I now eat very little and have to really choose foods that are good for me. I used to stop and grab a Jr. Cheeseburger at a fast food place if I was starving...I can't even eat them anymore (yay!). I stopped with my bestie yesterday and got a chicken sandwich...nope. Can't do that either. I've bought and given away plenty of food this week - and I'm okay with that! 3 french fries did me in the other day...woo hoo!

The resolution? I've been trying to start my days with oatmeal as the doctor suggested (although I woke up WAY too late the last two days to do it). My oatmeal this morning? I got less than half of the bowl down...and there isn't much oatmeal to start with in those lil' Quaker Oat packs. Oh well! Bestie and I went grocery shopping yesterday and I filled up on fruits, veggies, chicken, hummus, pita, etc...had a delicious "dinner" last night of some pita bread and hummus (yum!). Also took all of the grapes and strawberries I bought, put them in little snack sized bags (cut the tops of the strawberries so everything was edible), and threw all the baggies in the freezer. They'll be easy snacks to take with me on the go, and will last me throughout the day! I also baked 4 chicken breasts last night after dry rubbing them with some Mesquite BBQ seasoning...after they cooled, I chopped them up into bite sized pieces and stored those in containers in the fridge. I filled up a baggie full of those, too, to take with me today. The resolution is that I can NOT leave myself with no food/options when I'm out on long work days (which still happen even though the school year is over - nature of my specific job). I'm packing up a lunch box today with a fruit bag, baggie of chicken, yogurt and an ice pack. I'll have PLENTY of food to keep me satisfied until I get home tonight. How insane is it that THAT is plenty of food?! Stopping at fast food is not an option for me anymore - I can't get down anything on the menu - and living off of Starbucks and smoothies isn't healthy for me, even if I DO enjoy getting those items through the band :).

Here's to a happy last day of school and a healthier me!!