Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Just because you CAN eat...

...doesn't mean you should.  After dealing with more PB'ing and acid reflux last week (surprisingly, Thanksgiving was the only day I got food down successfully last week), I headed in to my doctor on Saturday morning and got 2cc removed from my band...WOW.  I am starving right now, and I have been since Saturday!  What a difference that unfill made - literally, I can eat breakfast, lunch and dinner...any food I want (I've been having bread, too!).  Of course, I've seen some gain since Saturday...but I'm determined not to let it get any higher.  I head back in this Saturday to get adjusted again - you can BET I'm getting some saline put back in!  As much as I've complained, and had problems with, being too tight...this being too loose thing is ridiculous!  I haven't been able to eat this much in months, and these hunger pangs are insane!  WOW.  Seriously.  I haven't felt hunger like this...gosh...in...months?!

I gave up on the doctor I'd been seeing.  Luckily, I had surgery through a practice with more than one doctor, and the doc I saw this past Saturday was pretty awesome.  He listened to what I had to say, had me drink water while he adjusted my band level, and offered to have me come back in a week if we took too much out.  The problem with being so stuck and reflux-y is that it took a whole 2cc being removed for me to feel any kind of chest/esophageal relief while drinking that damn water.  Being able to eat again, in larger than LapBand rules quantity, is like a temporary gift from God (for a fat chick).

Funny, though, that even though I've been eating some foods I normally wouldn't as a Bandster, I'm still motivated not to go buy the fast food, sit here and eat like a pig, etc. because I do NOT want to gain a bajillion pounds this week.  I worked hard for every damn pound I've lost - I do NOT want to have to do them over again!

Self-control?  Lessons learned?  Got my head aligned with the overall life change I committed to when I got the surgery?  Any way you spin it, the "incredibleness" of being able to eat doesn't feel so incredible to me.  I kinda miss restriction!

4 comments:

  1. Don't you just feel great when you've realized that you really have learned new eating habits? I've always wondered if I had to get my band removed if I could stick to what I'd learned or if I would gain all the weight back. Hopefully I'll never have to find out! Hope you're able to get restriction again, that stinks when you know you can eat so much but know at the same time that you shouldn't!

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  2. sounds like you're definitely in a good place if you can have that level of non-restriction and do the work the band would normally be doing for you! congrats on taking the right approach

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  3. Sounds like the new doc is very responsive. That's great.

    I'm glad you're feeling better.

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  4. Looks like you have internalized some critical healthy life patterns..I think that is great.

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