Sunday, August 29, 2010

I'm 30 now...and need to blog.

Wow - I guess heading back to school is just as exhausting for the teachers as it is for the students! My first week back to work wasn't stressful or anything, but getting back in the habit of waking up so darn early (and then staying up late to talk to my boyfriend on the phone) sure is draining...add to that the fact that I also had to get up early yesterday (on a SATURDAY...also my 30th BIRTHDAY) to take my FFA officer team to an all day retreat...dude, I was exhausted. So exhausted that the officer retreat ended up being my 30th birthday celebration in it's entirety. Originally, I had some friends who wanted to take me out to dinner, but that fell through. I ran a couple of errands after the officer retreat and came home...ended up passing out early-ish and sleeping for ten hours! Guess I needed it, eh?

The 30th birthday came and went without too much fanfare, obviously. My Facebook was blasted all day with birthday messages, which made me feel loved, and the gifts/cards I got in the mail from family were welcomed with love and appreciation. I guess it's bizarre, even after eight years of living in this town, that my only real *friends* are colleagues. I lost my interest in random partying years ago, so my only friends in town are fellow teachers/union leaders who are married with kids and have their own lives. Treating myself with my favorite nachos and taquitos from a local mexican joint (which took a pretty massive PB to get down - worth it, it's my birthday dammit!) while catching up on DVR'd shows with my kitty cats seemed like a pretty calming and relaxing way to spend the evening.

Beyond that, I was in a funk of sorts. I'm convinced that my boyfriend is someone I want to be with for the rest of my life, and having him 2,400 miles away at his house just doesn't make celebrating anything alone worthwhile. Also, the fact that I *had* to work on my 30th birthday, surrounded by some colleagues I've lost interest in (thank god my students were there - we had fun together!)'s time for a career change...or SOME kind of change. I had another interview on Friday for a staff position with the California Teacher's Association and will find out Tuesday if my life is about to change. I'd have to move, give up my titles of agriculture teacher, FFA advisor, all of the elected union positions I hold, etc. But - I welcome the change! I'm excited to really *start* my life, as it feels that the last 8 years of my career have been preparation for what I really want to be doing...and knowing that my boyfriend is with me every step of the way really confirms that not only do I want to be DOING something different with my life, but that I want to spend it with him.

:::sigh::: So...happy 30th birthday to me!

P.S. My weight has been stable over the past week, clocking in yesterday at the weight you see on my blog above. My nacho/taquito binge fest last night brought me up 0.8 pounds this morning, but I'm not counting it! Better than slamming down cake and ice cream, right? And those 0.8 pounds will be gone in the next day or two...bring on the 250's!!

Friday, August 20, 2010

Are you SERIOUS?!

I woke up today to an insane loss...yay for the hell of the fill/unfill over the last two days being good for something! Today? I hit it!


WOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Let's keep this fat-free gravy train running :)

The Result...another unfill.

After yesterday's 0.5cc fill...I was in hell. Chest tightness, barely able to drink liquids, constant hiccup/burping...I even had some acid reflux going on, ugh. By 11am this morning, I had had enough and called my doctor. The receptionist said "Yeah, that's not right...can you come in now?" Yup! Lunch break was soon approaching, so I headed over to the office on my lunch and the doc took the 0.5cc back out, taking me back down to 9cc again. What IS it with the 9cc?! If you've followed my blog, you know that 9cc killed me back in June...I've now been doing well back at 9cc over the last couple of weeks, but that extra 0.5cc yesterday...ugh.

I'm feeling better now - chest tightness has mostly subsided, I can *sip* liquids again (a big gulp makes me go *ugh* again), and I now need to just wait for my insides to recover from all of the swelling of the fill/unfill in 24 hours to see if I can eat again. Theoretically, I SHOULD be fine...because the unfill took me right back to where I started yesterday when I thought I needed a small fill due to large portion sizes.

Perhaps I should just stay at 9cc for awhile and use some willpower to decrease portion sizes? I've got to remember that the band is a TOOL, not a magical cure all to my obesity!

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Ugh...PB and a fill...

Today has not been a very good LapBand day. Is she mad at me for going back to work? The wedding this weekend was great fun, and it was awesome to have my loving boyfriend by my side. But since I've been home? I've been able to EAT...and, as a result, have gained a few pounds in as many days.

Obviously, I was looking forward to my fill today - just wanted a little bit to make the large portion sizes/weight gain go away. But today? My band was in a seriously bad mood.

I skipped breakfast - whoops. Went for a Java Chip Light Frappuccino at Starbucks on my way to the first teacher inservice meeting of the problems there. At lunch time, the men in my department invited me to join them for lunch at a pizza place - I ordered a thin crust chicken pizza. Knowing it wouldn't be the best food for me to eat (but lettuce is bad on my band, so a salad is out...and bread is no bueno either, so a sandwich or calzone was out)...I grabbed a fork and knife and started to tear apart little pieces of the pizza. After a few bites (literally, less than 1/4 of a tiny slice of a personal size pizza), I knew I was done. I boxed up the rest and enjoyed the conversation with my colleagues...only to run to the bathroom with that "ohemgee I'm gonna vomit!" feeling half an hour later. Yup, the few bites I ate came back up in full force! Ugh. I left with the iced tea I had bought and sipped on some of it during our next meeting...only to end up with embarrassingly LOUD hiccups...nice. Got to explain that one to my surrounding colleagues and boss!

After the un-enjoyment of the afternoon, it was off to get a fill. Like I said, I HAD been looking forward to it...the doctor gave me another 0.5cc (he wanted to take me straight up to 10cc, but I told him that scared me!) to bring me up to 9.5cc. I sipped the water he gave me to test the prob. I walked out of the office with a little hiccup and headed across town to my next meeting, stopping to buy my traditional post-fill milkshake.

UGH. Every sip of the milkshake made my band gurgle, my mouth start to slime, etc. I finished about 2/3 of the milkshake inside of the 2 hour meeting...then threw it away. A MILKSHAKE?! Are you kidding me?

I'm sure the stress of the earlier PB combined with a fill is pissing off my band, but I'm now on liquids until tomorrow...gonna stick to non-creamy (read: not a milkshake) liquids and see if my band feels better tomorrow. I remember what it feels like to be too tight all too well...I'm heading back into the doc if I can't handle this fill!

But, it's also that TOM...I've heard bands are tighter then. Could this reaction to the milkshake just be a horrible triple whammy of TOM, PB'ing lunch and a fill?! Thoughts?

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Time for a wedding!

It's been a long week for me, as I've fought a pretty bad cold since last Friday. I'm not 100% yet, but even a trip to the urgent care doctor did nothing for me...he gave me no meds and told me just to get plenty of rest and fluids. Ugh. Funny aside, though - I hadn't been to urgent care in almost two years and had to update my records...I realized that the only docs I've seen in the last year have been LapBand related! It was pretty important for me to get well as quickly as possible...why?

My sister Jennifer got married a year ago in a court house, but Saturday is her big ceremony and reception! Not only do I get to be the maid of honor (which means I get to do the obligatory roast...ugh, I mean the reception), but I'm also doing the flowers for the wedding, singing Kelly Clarkson's "A Moment Like This" as she walks down the aisle AND picking up my wonderful boyfriend tonight at the airport so he can meet my family and celebrate with us! I GET TO SEE NICK! Man, this whole 2,400 miles apart thing sucks. So, I needed to be well for singing, "close time" with Nick (he can't afford to be sick right now, since he's using sick days to fly out for the wedding)...thank god I'm starting to feel better!

Weight loss has been great this week, though, since I haven't eaten much! I've been living on robitussin, Theraflu, sleeping, water, OJ (with calcium and Vit. D!), my facial steamer...I even tried putting pools of Hydrogen Peroxide into each ear and letting them sit - read that wives tale online. I've been sick now for six days, so I don't think anything is quite doing the trick alone, but they seem to be helping altogether! Let's hope Nick thinks I'm well enough for the "long-distance sucks so we make up for it when we see each other" time :).

See ya after the festivities!

Sunday, August 8, 2010

She sings!

Although it's been a long time since I've talked about the fact that I sing (um, first post), I thought it was time to share the origin of my blogger name (SingingLapBander) with all of are some performances of mine on the website I sing on:

"Roxie" - from the movie Chicago
"The Lonely Goatherd" - from The Sound of Music
"Big Spender" - Shirley Bassey
"Tik Tok" - Ke$ha
"Summer Nights" - Grease (me AND my boyfriend!)


Saturday, August 7, 2010

It's my Bandiversary...7 months :)

What a crazy seven months it's been! I look at my overall weight loss (69 pounds), and I'm pleased with an average just shy of 10 pounds a month. I'd love to keep that average! But, this morning I made the mistake of looking at how much I weighed when I said goodbye to my students at the end of the school year (June 3)...probably because I'm about to see all of them and my colleagues again in about a week and a half. Ugh. I've only lost 12 pounds since June 3 - that's an average of about 6 pounds a month! I don't like that one. I have to remember that the scale is still going down, and that's a good thing!

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Hmmm. Smart doctor!

I've been doing a lot of nothing...and that includes my weight loss. After celebrating some victories last week, I've regained a couple of those lost pounds through poor eating choices and overall lack of movement. In a word? I've been lazy. As much as I'm dreading going back up to 9cc at my fill appointment today (where I PB'd and was stuck for over a month), I think it might be the way to go. My portion sizes are large, I'm making horrible food choices (not as bad as pre-op, but bad for a Bandster), and I'm finding that the 1,000ish calories a day I'm aiming for aren't keeping me satisfied throughout the day. Ugh. I guess I'll let him take me back up to 9cc and see how it works out for me - gotta remember to take smaller bites! The difference in the fill this time, though, is that I know how miserable it was to live with my band so tight. I'm not on vacation (in fact, I head back to work in two weeks), so it'll be a quick trip to the doctor if I find I'm not ingesting as much food as my body needs to lose weight. Having a band that's too tight not only decreases the amount of food I can ingest, but also zeroes out the weight loss as my body starves for nutrition. So with this fill? I have some goals:

(1) Take smaller bites. Honestly, I scarfed down a quesadilla and two tacos after drinking with friends last night - without a problem. I should never have been able to get all of that down, especially with the bite sizes I took (HUGE!).

(2) Choose healthier foods again. My newest discovery and addiction is a coffee place called "Java Detour." They sell 32 oz. frappuccinos. Need I say more?!

(3) Get moving again. I stopped my "Couch to 5K" training because my left knee twisted after my W2D2 left knee is my GOOD knee, after having surgery on my right knee in college for a torn ACL and meniscus. Yeah, I'm not blowing the other knee. Obviously, my almost 270 pound body is too much for my knees to be running on - but that's not an excuse to sit on my ass and play Frontierville on Facebook all day. Luckily, work starts up in 2 weeks and my physical activity will naturally increase.

(4) Take my vitamins. My grandma bought me a 90-day supply of VitaBand vitamins for Bandsters back in late January...I still have nearly half a bottle left. BAD JOIA!

I think my doctor was right 2 weeks ago when he told me he wanted to take me to 9cc today. I was scared then, knowing what 9cc did to my body in June. But I feel confident in that decision of his, and I'm heading to his office in about half an hour...I think he did it the smart way, though, by taking me there gradually and letting me come to the realization that I needed to be there. Smart doctor ;).