Sunday, October 25, 2015

Confessions.

Logging in to start this entry, I wasn't shocked to see I've written nothing since March. Since I chose to make a big life change, unrelated to my weight, nearly a year ago...I've lived. I'm in a wonderful relationship, I've worked on some inner emotional/mental demons, and I've enjoyed being in my own skin. While I don't regret the focus I've had on my insides, the outsides have unfortunately suffered.

I'm roughly 20 pounds heavier than I was a year ago; I remember breaking into "onederland" and excitedly sharing that scale picture last October. I'd hope to achieve my ultimate in 2015, but life had other plans.

A year later, I want to (once again) return to onederland and continue my journey to goal. I want to get back to healthy eating and exercise and finally focus on water intake (my coffee addiction is a bad one!). I want to finish this.

And I will.

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

It's been awhile...

Maintenance is super easy - I haven't lost or gained more than a pound or two since October.  However, maintenance isn't a great place to be when you're still 30-ish pounds from goal.  Eek!  Somewhere along the way, I let life be an excuse in stalling my weight loss.  I'm not intentional about what I eat and that lack of intentionality continues to yield maintenance results.

I am thankful for my gastric sleeve, though.  Without it?  The last few months would have likely seen a huge weight gain because of the food choices I've made.  I'm lucky that (a) I'm typically not hungry, (b) I typically eat because I'm bored or because there's a tempting choice in front of me and (c) I can't eat much of anything when I do make less than stellar choices.  I'm happy that maintenance has proven to be relatively easy...

...but it's time to get my head back in the game.  Since my last blog post (in October of 2014), I've ended a nearly 5-year relationship, moved to a new apartment with a roommate closer to work, I've lost my Grandma (my rock star partner in all things bariatric and life) and have found new happiness in life and those I choose to include it.

Transition over.  I attended my monthly weight loss support group on Monday and told of my struggle with intentionality...and was told there are no tricks to "get back in the game."  I just have to choose to do it, then follow through.

In addition to that, my mom, sister and I are on a team to run/walk 2,015 miles in 2,015.  With the 1.8 miles I logged this morning (found the new apartment complex gym!), I'm up to almost 25 miles for the year.  While our team is on track to goal, I'm clearly not holding up my end of the deal.

I've always recognized that weight loss is 90% what you do in the kitchen and 10% what you do in the gym.  It's time to get my head back into all 100% and finish this.  I turn 35 at the end of August.  Goal IS the gift I want to give to myself.

Friday, October 10, 2014

Mo money! (For smaller clothes!)

I've never really LOVED a bank I've been a member of, so when I saw the chance to join the new Capital One 360 (all digital) bank, I jumped in!  True story?  Free $50 bonus on Day 50 of having the account (minimum requirement is that you have to make 3 signature based purchases within the first 45 days) AND you get a $20 instant bonus for every friend who opens a checking account (no minimum opening requirement).

It was originally meant to be an extra account I could stash money into for savings, but I'm now transitioning my direct deposit pay over there as well - and welcoming a new banking era!

Soooo...who wants to (a) try a new bank, (b) earn some free bonuses and (c) help me afford some new clothes for my shrinking body?!  LOL!

Learn more, and sign up, here: https://r.capitalone360.com/R9XBayud3i :)

Saturday, October 4, 2014

ONEDERLAND!!


It's finally here!  Other than reaching goal (now 30.3 pounds away), this is *THE* moment I've been waiting for!  Although I've not been able to track down how small/large I was in high school, I'm pretty confident in saying that I haven't been in onederland since early in my high school career.  Here are the stats I do know - my heaviest weight was 338.2 back at the end of 2009 when I was preparing for LapBand surgery in January 2010.  After weight loss, medical issues and regain, I "restarted" my journey in late May 2013 at 311 pounds and had my Gastric Sleeve surgery done on June 7, 2013.  I've come a long way since then!

At 5'9", the BMI scale (for whatever it's worth) puts the high range of a "normal" weight for me at 169 pounds.  Given my larger frame, I'm not sure I want to weigh much less than that - but we'll see when I get there!  Ultimately, my goal for myself is 169.1...I want to be half the girl I was when I started this journey.  Regardless, today's about a CEL-E-BRA-TION! :D

After a long, few months of stalls, plateaus, etc. (I've only lost 16.4 pounds in 6 months), I'm excited to see a "1" starting my weight for the first time in probably 20 years.  Here's to never seeing a "2" or "3" starting my weight ever again!!! :)


Sunday, September 7, 2014

Never, never, never give up.

I don't blog much anymore, nor do I read many weight loss blogs much anymore.  It's been a weird few months since my last post in April where I was so happy to be at my lowest adult weight (then: 215.8).  It's been 5 months since that post and, happily, I hit another milestone today - 203 pounds puts me, for the first time in my adult life, in the "overweight" BMI category.  I've been "obese," to some degree, for my entire adult life.  And while I'm now only a few pounds from the mythical onederland I hear so much about, I feel that it will take another several weeks to get there.

The magical phase of weight loss that happens in the first year following weight loss surgery is certainly over.  Having been sleeved in early June 2013, the ride quickly slowed to a crawl in the Spring of 2014.  Heck, I've really only lost almost 13 pounds in five months.  Why?

I still (mostly) try to focus on a higher protein, lower carb diet.  I still don't work out.  At all - never have.  (Note: Yes, maybe I should start a routine a see if that helps move the scale a little faster...)  Despite not losing much in the last few months, I'm still shrinking out of all of the clothes I own and having to buy new stuff (Goodwill, thanks!) every couple of weeks just to be presentable at work.  Clearly?  My body continues to "shift" into my new, lower weight.

But...I'm not at goal.  My body will hit "normal" on the BMI scale at 169 (34 pounds from now), although my body's frame may actually look healthy around 180 (23 pounds from now).  23 and 34 pounds don't sound like much weight - so why am I still seeing all of the fat on my body, literally?  While I am amazed at how much smaller I look in pictures and mirrors, I face reality when I look in the mirror.  I still have rolls and fat (not just loose skin) that seem to be much more than 23 or 34 pounds worth.  Although I'm looking smaller, and wearing smaller clothing, I just don't feel that the scale is right.  What I perceive in the mirror?  Is someone who is at least 50-60 pounds from goal.

Do I just have a skewed perception of what being "only" 23-34 pounds overweight looks like?  Do all "overweight" people look like me?  I had a friend ask me recently if I just don't see what everyone else sees - I guess I don't.  Part of it is not owning clothes that fit correctly (it is sad donating 80% of your closet and being left with a few articles of clothing, yet not wanting to buy much because you fear you'll shrink into the next size quickly...thus wasting more money), part of it is that the reality I see is different than the reality of what others see.  Why do we do this?  Why is it so hard for weight loss patients to see themselves as a former fat girl?  Yes, I'm still overweight...but, heck, 69% of adults age 20 years and over are (according to http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/obesity-overweight.htm) - and that includes the 35% who are in the "obese" category.  I see pictures of other weight loss surgery patients who are at goal and/or maintaining...I look nothing like them.  Does 23-34 pounds really make that much of a difference?!

When did YOUR perception change?  Has it?  Will it ever?  What steps did you take to align your head with your new body?

Friday, April 4, 2014

Lowest adult weight!!

As far as I can remember, I've been over 200 pounds.  I'm pretty sure I hit that "milestone" while in high school, so for all intents and purposes, the lowest weight I can remember being as an adult was 216 (point something) in my LapBand heyday - that would have been somewhere around January/February 2012.

Since gaining most of my weight back, having the LapBand removed and then being sleeved, I've been fighting to get back to this point.  Today's weigh-in had me at 215.8!!  I'm now claiming that as my lowest adult weight!!!

Only a little while longer until I see the magical onederland (seriously?! me?!) and less than 50 pounds total to get to my goal weight...ahhhh!!  It's happening!!!

Saturday, January 11, 2014

Rainy day...and motivation?

We're due for rain the entire day, complete with a flood warning in effect.  Not that I ever need an excuse to laze around the house while drinking coffee and catching up on the DVR, but the rainy weather just makes this lazy Saturday even better!

Question for all of you, while I'm in a relatively contemplative mood...what advice would you give to people starting, or re-starting, their weight loss journey?  Outside of specific surgery advice, what do you do to motivate or educate friends who want to know tips/tricks on how to get the most out of their own journey?  Knowing that the weight loss path can take a myriad of forms, which can include surgery for some, what general advice would you impart if asked?

Clearly, I chose a surgical route as an aid to me in my journey.  Those of you who chose the same route know that the daily battle against grazing and poor food choices continues, regardless of which surgery you chose.  Although I have a sleeve-alicious tool to help me reduce consumption and minimize hunger, it's totally easy and doable to gain weight in the life after weight loss surgery.  So...what advice do you have?  What keeps YOU on the right path?  What is "it?"

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Maintenance and the Polar Vortex...

One thing I've learned in 2014 is that weighing less doesn't help someone who's already cold by nature endure a polar vortex.  On top of that, the heat in my house is out (hopefully being fixed today) and I had to sleep in temperatures less than 60 (no idea how the homeless do this every night).  I'm cold.  Losing weight has not helped that.  I can, however, fit into the way cute jacket I loved from two winters ago that didn't fit last winter...and I sold last winter's jacket for $25 to someone larger than me...so, bonus!

In the spirit of accountability and updating y'all on what I've been up to, December 2013 was a terrible month for me in my weight loss journey post-gastric sleeve.  I didn't wear my FitBit.  I didn't track food on MyFitnessPal.  I didn't make great food choices.  I ate when I wasn't hungry.  I did everything you're not supposed to do while on a weight loss journey.

And still?

I maintained.

Seriously.

When I finally pulled my head out of my ass and stepped on the scale for "Fat Loss Friday" on January 3, I weighed exactly the same as I had a month prior.  Sweet!  I felt rejuvenated, threw my FitBit on and have been tracking food ever since.  It's good to know that my tiny belly will allow for maintenance when I finally reach my goal weight!

So...in 2014?  I'm looking forward to saying hello to onederland (haven't been there since high school) and my goal weight.  As of today I'm 81 pounds down and have 61 to go.  I got this!

Sunday, December 1, 2013

Childhood Obesity Fundraiser!

Indulge in wonderful gifts this holiday season while making a difference in Childhood Obesity! 25% of the total sales (minus tax/shipping), my commission, will be contributed to the National Childhood Obesity Foundation by January 15, 2014.

To shop and contribute, simply shop online anytime in the month of December at https://joia.scentsy.us/ - upon checkout, you'll be asked if you'd like to join a party. Simply select the "Childhood Obesity Fundraiser" and your purchase will contribute to the total!

To read more about the NCOF, visit their website at http://www.ncof.org/ - let's band together this holiday season to help address this important problem in our society!

Facebook Event (join and invite your friends!): https://www.facebook.com/events/590202204369102/?ref_dashboard_filter=calendar

Thursday, November 28, 2013

Today I am thankful for...

  • Exiting the "Obese Class 2" category of weight this morning and entering "Obese Class 1" - only 33 pounds to go until I'm no longer obese...I'll take "overweight" any day!
  • 2013 - the year in which my horrific journey with the LapBand ended and the year my Gastric Sleeve allowed me to reclaim my weight loss journey and health.
And, of course, all of YOU, my family and friends, who continue to inspire and encourage me on a daily basis!